Oh, Great, Now the Air is Racist – Time for “Rep-AIR-ations”

Proving once again that American taxpayers have been way too generous for our own good, the National Academy of Sciences has discovered that the air is racist. If you think that’s too stupid to be true and you’re waiting for the punchline… there’s no punchline. They really mean it. Liberal scientists have determined that the air itself is racist.

According to USA Today and NPR – those two bastions of scientific innovation – the scientists practically stumbled on this new discovery by accident. Perhaps they were looking for those “racist dog whistles” that only liberals can hear and ended up finding a completely different invisible source of racism. A microaggression, if you will.

“Pollution is disproportionately caused by whites, but disproportionately inhaled by black and Hispanic minorities,” say the totally neutral scientists who don’t have a political ax to grind. Let’s see if we can unpack this hot new theory that has all the girls at CNN excited.

White people cause racist air by committing racist sins against the planet, mainly by doing racist things such as “creating electricity.” Then, according to Congresswoman Ilhan Omar (D-MN), the Jews cause the wind to blow all of the pollution from the racist power plants into black and Hispanic neighborhoods, where they are forced to breathe the racist air. Science!

Scientist Jason Hill adds, “What is especially surprising is just how large pollution inequity is and has been for well over a decade.”

So… it started right around when Obama came into office? Good to know.

“Pollution inequity” is a great new fake liberal science term that I’ll have to add to my lexicon. It comes after “Cisgender Heteronormative Fascism” and “Global Warming” alphabetically.

Using the same accounting tricks that brought us the Green New Deal, pollution inequity means that white people experience 17% less air pollution than they produce through electricity consumption. Stop laughing, this is science!

Meanwhile, black people experience 56% more air pollution than they produce. And the Jewish weather controllers that Ilhan Omar is worried about are really sticking it to Hispanics. They experience 63% more air pollution than they produce. As we see with all liberal policy “discoveries,” the study reveals more racist presuppositions among liberals than they were accusing conservatives of committing in the first place.

For example, the push for Voter ID has been declared racist. Asking for voters to show ID and prove that they haven’t already voted, and that they are who they say they are, disenfranchises black and Hispanic voters, right? The underlying presupposition is that blacks and Hispanics are too poor to afford a driver’s license or are too uneducated on how to get one. If you don’t believe me check out this eye opening video of how liberal college kids view black and brown people when it comes to voter ID laws.

The racist air study is very similar. Blacks and Hispanics breathe in a disproportionate amount of air pollution, because they use less electricity than white people. Why? Because they’re poor, according to liberals. The report suggests they can’t afford nice things like white people supposedly can (guessing they’ve never met a lower middle class or poor white person in their life) and therefore they use less electricity, because they don’t have to recharge their iPhones all the time. Duh!

And like all liberal policies, there’s only one way to solve the racist air pollution dilemma when you think about it. White people should have to pay more for their electricity, with the difference being paid to minorities because they have to breathe the brunt of our excessive iPhone charging. Rep-AIR-ations.

America used to have bad air pollution in large, congested liberal cities like Los Angeles. It’s where the term “smog” comes from. There’s no smog there any longer, because America fixed California’s smog problem. All of America has borne a great financial burden just to clean up California’s air. We have federal emissions standards on cars now and we pay a lot more money for cars today because of this. And we did that just so California, specifically, could have clean air once again.

You want to see bad air pollution? Go to China. You have to wear a P95 face mask just to walk across the street – and while you’re walking across the street, pray that a car doesn’t hit you because the drivers can’t see 20 feet in front of them. But I’m guessing liberal scientists don’t want you to know about that!


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